1999 Bizarre Summer Job
by The Scollard
Summary: Josuke Higashikata finds himself out of money… again. And just in time for summer vacation, too. To get some much-needed cash, he ends up finding work at one of the many offices near Morioh, and is paired with one of the place's long-time employees, Kosaku Kawajiri. Can the both of them survive this summer job?
1. Josuke Higashikata! Needs Some Money

**1999 Bizarre Summer Job**

 **By: The Scollard**

 **Summary:** **Josuke Higashikata finds himself out of money… again. And just in time for summer vacation, too. To get some much-needed cash, he ends up finding work at one of the many offices near Morioh, and is paired with one of the place's long-time employees, Kosaku Kawajiri. Can the both of them survive this summer job?**

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

 **Josuke Higashikata! Needs Some Money, Pronto.**

Nothing.

He had nothing. Shaking his wallet, his jaw dropped open from the lack of anything that was coming out. No coins. No bills. Nothing.

This was bad. This was very, very bad. It was the middle of his summer vacation, and he couldn't do anything. And he had so much planned: a visit to beach with Koichi and Okuyasu, trips to Tonio's, or heading into S City with the rest of the gang and having fun for the entire night. But all of those, except for maybe the beach trip if he didn't buy any ice cream, cost money; money that he didn't have.

What was he supposed to do?

He went through his options. His old man was pretty rich, maybe he could use the fact that Joseph had left his only son alone for sixteen years to try to weasel some pity money out of the old geezer. Maybe he could pretend that the rich tycoon forgot to pay him back for the baby supplies from a couple months ago?

Nah… Jotaro wouldn't let him take advantage of Joseph like that, and besides, nowadays, he was getting the feeling that the old guy was a lot smarter than he first seemed.

Maybe he try getting some stuff out of Rohan again? The manga artist never seemed strapped for cash. But that hinged on Rohan letting him into his house and gambling with him again. Considering what happened the last time, Josuke doubted the eccentric weirdo would let him even approach his door, if Rohan already hadn't written "Never bother Rohan Kishibe again" into him using Heaven's Door.

Damn, he couldn't think of anything.

He sighed. If his mother hadn't frozen the cash he had gotten from the lottery ticket, he wouldn't have to worry about this. Okuyasu and Shigechi didn't have their winnings frozen, so why was he so unlucky?

The thought of the fat little middle schooler turned Josuke's mind to darker matters.

Yoshikage Kira.

He'd only seen the serial killer once, at the shoe store. The thought that he was still living in his town, with a new face that hid him from justice, pissed Josuke off. It made him almost as angry as getting his hair insulted. He wished he could pummel the shit out of the blond bastard.

Josuke sighed. Jotaro promised he'd make a mistake eventually. He could focus on Kira when that happened, but until then, there wasn't much he could do.

So, he once again went back to focusing on his money problems.

Seeing no other option, he decided to accept the ultimate humiliation, and do something he thought he never would be forced to do.

"Mom. Mooooooooom," he said, walking down the stairs into the kitchen.

"What is it, Josuke?" His mother was at the stove, cooking something for dinner.

He moved up to the pot, and took a whiff of its contents. "Uh… You're looking beautiful today. What're you making?"

She glared at him. "What do you want?"

"Uh…" He bit his lip. "I was wondering if you could lend me some money for the summer. I don't have enough for the S City trip."

"No." Her answer was quick and blunt.

"Why? Please, Mom. Pleeeease. I need this. I really need this." He was begging now.

"And I said no."

"Then what am I supposed to do? We've already bought the train tickets. I can't just go there with them, and not do anything because I don't have the cash." He sighed. "I'll pay you back after the summer. Hell, you can take it from my birthday and Christmas money if you want to."

"The answer is still no," she said, giving the pot another stir. She turned to look at him. "And if you want money so badly, why don't you consider getting a summer job? A lot of the offices around here are hiring students for the summer. It would be more productive than playing video games all day."

"But then I can't…" He was going to say 'spend time with my friends', but trailed off. Now that he thought more about it, that wouldn't be the case. In fact, it would work out nicely. He would still have the evenings after work and the weekends to shoot the shit with Okuyasu and Koichi, and he didn't do much on weekdays either. And by working, he could make enough money to make their trip into S City a special one. Yeah… now that he thought about it, it would work perfectly.

"Fine," he told his mother, before heading off back to his room.

He'd start handing out his resume tomorrow.

* * *

His new boss, a short old man that had probably been here for ages, led him through the rows of cubicles he would be calling his workplace from now until the end of the summer.

"It's wonderful you were able to come today, Higashikata. I didn't expect to find anyone available this late after the vacation started, and on such short notice too. It seems that every other qualified student has already found a position."

"Thank you for hiring me, sir," he said. Even he was surprised by how quickly he found a job. It seemed like only yesterday that he had started looking at the postings and sending out his resume, probably because it was yesterday. Well, actually, the day before yesterday.

Instead of wearing his usual school uniform, he was in a suit. He managed to convince his father to pay for that, so his son could end up being a productive member of society. It was kind of stuffy, and still felt a little stiff, but he could endure it.

"I have to say, in this workplace, I haven't seen many people with hairstyles such as yours. It reminds me of those unproductive delinquents always hanging around causing trouble."

Josuke's eye twitched. "What did you say about…" He stopped himself. He couldn't get fired on his first day of work because he punched his boss in the face. "… Never mind."

"Even though it said on your resume that you have no prior work experience, I expect you to pick up the job quickly. The work you will do here isn't that complicated, so no mistakes. Understood?" his boss asked.

"Yes, sir."

"Good. We understand each other." The older man stopped at one of the cubicles. "You will be working directly under another one of our employees. He will show you the ropes around here, and will tell you what needs to be done. Just do what he says."

He peeked inside the cubicle. It was empty.

"He's probably out delivering some papers at the moment. After I introduce you to him, he will be the person you go to if you have any questions. I have my own work to do. My position means that I can't find the time to supervise a stu— Ah, there he is."

Josuke turned to see a man with spiky black hair wearing a white suit standing in front of him, carrying a stack of documents in his hands. He looked at Josuke with his eyes wide and his mouth agape.

Josuke didn't understand what he did to provoke that kind of reaction. He hoped it wasn't something to do with his hair.

His new boss motioned to the man. "Josuke Higashikata, I would like to introduce you to one of our long-time employees, Kosaku Kawajiri."

* * *

 **Author's Note: Hey, JoJo fans. Hope you enjoyed the chapter.**

 **Credit goes out to Reddit user /u/PerfectScarlet for the idea of Josuke getting a job in Kira's office. I'll be using more from the topic on /r/StardustCrusaders that idea came from, as well as other sources as this fic goes on. I would also like to thank all the people who read over this story, and gave me their opinions on the chapter.**

 **This takes place post Yoshihiro discovering his son was hiding as Kosaku. I like to imagine this would have been the outcome if Kira hadn't been insulted by Minako and her boyfriend on the train. There would have been no Hayato filming Kira, no Kira losing his temper, and no Bites the Dust. Rohan would have probably talked with Hayato, but found nothing, and Kira's identity would have never been discovered.**

 **Will it be discovered? Who knows? Stay tuned to find out.**


	2. Yoshikage Kira Wants A Quiet Workday

**Chapter 2**

 **Yoshikage Kira Wants A Quiet Workday**

Yoshikage Kira prided himself on being a calm man. Whenever he was stuck in a bad situation, he knew that the only thing he needed to do was calm himself down and think things through. After all, luck was on his side. An opportunity would always present itself.

The moment he saw Josuke Higashikata right there in his workplace, by his cubicle no less, however, tested him.

His eyes widened as he watched the teen standing beside his boss. H-How? How did they figure it out? He felt his hands moving upwards, but thankfully, the stack of paper he was holding stopped them from going all the way to his mouth.

It made no sense. He hadn't killed anyone since Aya; he was just living a normal, quiet life with his new wife and her overly-inquisitive son— Wait, was that it?

He dismissed the thought. No. Hayato suspected something was off, but there was no way the little boy could have done something that would have led to Josuke Higashikata showing up at his work.

He had made no mistakes: he destroyed the body of the man whose face he now wore, and he blew up anything else that could connect him to his new life. But, then, how on earth could they have figured out that he was pretending to be Kosaku Kawajiri?

Damn it!

This was bad. This was very, very bad.

He felt his fingernails beginning to grow once more. No doubt Jotaro Kujo was nearby, just waiting to stop time and step in, along with those two shitheads who helped foil him the last time, Koichi Hirose and Okuyasu Nijimura. If it hadn't been for those two, he wouldn't have had to abandon his old life, and leave his old home behind.

That house had been his family's property for generations. It was where he grew up. He quite liked the place.

His breathing began to quicken, as he desperately searched for a way out. With no Aya Tsuji around anymore, there was nowhere else he could go with this identity compromised. He could not have his face changed again.

If only Aya hadn't forced him to kill her. He could have used the aesthetician's services in this situation.

Either way, it did not matter how they managed to track him down. All that mattered was his escape. An opportunity would present itself. For now, he would just have to play dumb; not let the teenager know that he was on to them.

Which would be difficult to do, considering the beads of sweat now on his forehead.

That was when he remembered the stack of papers he was holding, and realized that the teenager had not noticed him yet.

This was it! This was his innate luck manifesting itself! This was the opportunity he had been searching for!

He drew out Killer Queen as stealthily as he could. All that could be seen of his Stand was the ghostly apparition of its right hand hovering barely an inch over Kira's own. He placed a bomb on the paper, and withdrew his Stand again.

The only thing he would have to do is get just the tiniest bit closer. Then, when he was close enough to the teenager, he would throw the stack of the paper at him, and detonate Killer Queen's bomb the instant the pages touched his enemy. He could already imagine the teenager's screams as he was reduced to nothing.

He still had not figured out how he would deal with Jotaro, Koichi, or the idiot yet, but it was a good start.

That was when Josuke turned and saw him.

No!

All he had to do was get a bit closer. That would put him close enough to throw the paper, while still being far enough to keep him out of Crazy Diamond's range.

"And there he is," Kira saw his boss for the last few weeks say. He didn't like the man, but he would never express those opinions out loud, for fear of disturbing his quiet life. His boss motioned towards him. "Josuke Higashikata, I would like to introduce you to one of our long-time employees, Kosaku Kawajiri."

This could not be. Josuke had seen him and identified him. With the help of his boss, no less. He was so close. How?

Then Kira heard his boss say something that he never expected in a million years he would hear.

"Kawajiri, this is Josuke Higashikata. He's a student we've hired for the summer. From now on, he'll be working directly under you."

Wait…

What?

Were Kira's ears working properly? Did he really just hear that?

If Josuke wasn't here because of him… then did that mean his identity was still safe? That he could still live his quiet life?

Now that he thought about it, he remembered his boss mentioning yesterday that he was planning to hire a student he had just interviewed, so it shouldn't have been too surprising. Still, his boss never said that student was Josuke freaking Higashikata. That did mean there was nothing wrong though, and his quiet life was not in the peril he had originally imagined.

He almost let out an internal sigh of relief, when he realized the meaning of the second half of his boss' statement.

Josuke would be working directly under him. He would have to interact with him _daily_.

As Kira looked at his dumb, goofy hair, the shithead bowed. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Kawajiri. I look forward to your guidance in my new position."

Again, this was bad. This was very, very bad. He had to get out of this somehow.

The boy's actions caught Kira off guard. Who knew he was capable of showing actual manners. And now that he looked over the boy's suit, who knew he was capable of cleaning himself up enough to be presentable in an office.

"Uh… I…" he said, turning his head to his boss, still reeling from the shock. He was about to tell him that he didn't think working with a student would be the best idea, when he caught himself.

It was a risk he couldn't take. Josuke might get suspicious if he was adamant about not taking on this responsibility. He was walking a fine line as it was. There was no doubt his whole life would come crashing down if he made Josuke feel that something was off in the slightest.

"Now, Kawajiri," his boss said. "Get the boy doing something as quickly as possible. I want him to be a productive member of the office by the end of the week. You have something you're doing; have him help."

He once again turned his eyes to the teenager who had taken everything from him.

"I… uh… Of course, sir," he said.

His boss walked away, leaving Kira standing there, and leaving him to deal with the teenager standing in front of his cubicle.

"Mr. Kawajiri, is there anything I can do to help?" Josuke asked.

"Yes," Kira said with a smile. "If you could take these documents and hand them to Mr. Osaka. He will have to sign off on them before I can do anything more."

"Of course, sir," Josuke said as he accepted the papers, grabbing them with both hands.

Kira's smile twisted into a grin the second he let go. "Killer Queen!" Those two words never sounded so good.

Josuke's eyes widened with realization, but it was already too late. It was a beautiful sight, as he pitifully tried to take out his Stand as Kira denoted the bomb. Crazy Diamond may have been fast, but it wasn't fast enough. The last thing Kira saw on Josuke's face before he was disintegrated was a pained look of shock and anguish.

He had done it! Josuke Higashikata was dead!

"Uh… Mr. Kawajiri, is there anything I can assist you with?" The teenager's voice knocked him out of his fantasies and back into the real world.

Kira shook his head as he looked at the still-very-much-alive Josuke. "Not at the moment, I am afraid. I will need to check our schedule to find you something to work on, Higashikata."

He briskly walked past Josuke and entered his cubicle, desperate, but not so desperate that the boy would guess anything was off, to avoid having to face him anymore. He laid the stack of papers on his desk and sat down, moving his hands out of Josuke's sight just as his fingernails grew a little bit longer.

"Very well, Mr. Kawajiri." From the way his voice fluctuated, Kira could tell Josuke had taken another bow. "… Is there anything I could do in the meantime?"

"I would suggest you use this time to get acquainted with the other members of this office," Kira said. "While you will primarily be working under me…" Unfortunately. "… you will need to occasionally interact with the other employees here. It would be best you know who they are and where to find them."

"Of course, Mr. Kawajiri," Josuke said, bowing a third time, before he left Kira's cubicle.

Finally alone, he contemplated going to talk to his boss in private about having the responsibility foisted on some other unlucky employee, but only for a second. He couldn't do that either. His boss would almost certainly think something was wrong. Kosaku Kawajiri hadn't been the type of employee to make demands (much like Kira, in fact). His boss would probably try to pry into his affairs, disrupting his quiet life even more.

No matter how he looked at it, it seemed that the only option was, horribly enough, to just accept what had been handed to him, and to go along with it for now. Much like his 'wife' and 'son', it seemed that he would have to deal with Josuke as part of his new life. All that meant was that he would have to be extra careful about what he said and did around Josuke.

Once Kira heard Josuke talking in one of the cubicles at the other end of office, he let out an internal groan and started counting down the days until the summer's end.

It was his only option, but it would still be a nightmare.

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 **A/N: Hope you liked the chapter. I don't have much to say but that I hope your excited for this ride. Thanks to everybody that has read, followed, commented on, or reviewed this story's first chapter. Believe me, hijinks are going to ensue, calls are going to be close, and situations are going to be bizarre.**

 **Again, shout outs to all the people who looked over and read this chapter before I posted it for the rest of you.**


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